Once upon a time there was a little teddy bear who was an only child. His daddy was a Lion and his mummy was a Unicorn. His daddy was ferocious and wild and his mummy was very- well- pink and fluffy. His childhood was untroubled and carefree. His mummy would dress him up in pink and fluffy clothes and all the little girl animals at school loved to play with him. They would braid his bear-hair tying it with rainbow ribbons and everyone thought that Teddy Bear was soooooo cute.
Then came the time for Teddy Bear to go to Big School. It was different there and, on his first day, all the other animals crowded round him in his pink knitted shorts and his pink fur cap. They said ‘That’s not the way bears dress. You should be ferocious and wild like your Lion daddy’. Teddy Bear burst into tears. He was confused and upset and when he got home he ran to his room and wouldn’t come out. He made up his mind right there and then that, although he did love pink and fluffy, he was going to be ferocious and wild from that day on and he wasn’t going to have anything to do with those girls any more.
As the years went by he began to realize that he was drawn to the boys and their ferocious and wild ways, in the way that the boys were drawn to the girls and their pink and fluffy ways. He noticed too that there were some pink and fluffy boys too who were also attracted to the ferocious and wild boys.
Pink and fluffy boys made him feel uncomfortable and he decided he wouldn’t have anything to do with them either. But the ferocious and wild boys began to pick up that there was something not quite right about Teddy Bear and though they were friendly enough towards him, they didn’t invite him to their ferocious and wild parties where the pink and fluffy girls liked to hang out.
Teddy Bear left school as soon as he could hoping that life would be easier as a Grown-Up. It was tough pretending to be ferocious and wild but the shame of that first day at Big School kept him well away from pink and fluffy whenever it came his way.
One day when he was feeling particularly lonely, sitting on a park bench and wondering if he would ever be happy, he saw a teddy bear just like him walking straight towards him. He smiled and then sat right down beside him on the bench.
‘Hi my name is Ed, you look to me as though you’d enjoy a teddy bear’s picnic’
Teddy was mystified ‘What’s a teddy bear’s picnic’
Ed laughed ‘Oh it’s just a chance to hang out with other teddy bears. In fact there’s one down in the Woods and it’s happening today!’
Teddy could hardy contain his excitement ‘What? Just teddy bears hanging out?’
‘Yup!’ said Ed ‘All ferocious and wild!’
‘What? No pink and fluffy anywhere?’
‘Nope-none’
‘Wow’ said Teddy ‘sounds amazing’
So off he went with Ed into the woods and oh what a Big Surprise!
Teddy was ferocious and wild in ways that he’d never dared to dream were possible. From then on he knew he’d found his tribe. All teddy bears. All ferocious and wild. ‘Heaven on Earth’ he thought.
But as the years went by, as lovely as it was to hang out with teddy bears all the time, he found that life still felt a little empty and same-y. Ferocious and wild had started to feel empty and exhausting. There was something missing from his life.
He wondered if going to church would help. But they were all worshiping a God that was ferocious and wild and frankly he’d had his fill of ferocious and wild worship. Someone said if he became a Pagan he could worship a Goddess instead. So off he went to a few rituals. But he found the Goddess far too pink and fluffy for his liking.
He decided that he really wanted to find a Deity that was neither ‘Ferocious and Wild’ nor ‘Pink and Fluffy’. He wanted a Deity that was ‘Just Right’
Maybe one day he’ll find ‘The Church for Teddy Bears Worshiping the Deity which is Just Right’
Maybe he’ll decide, that because right now that Church isn’t there just yet, he’ll make a wish and manifest it into being.
Now wouldn’t that be fabulous boys and girls?
And then they could all live Happily Ever After.....
