Ayahuasca told me to shut the f*ck up!

A few years ago I participated in an Ayahuasca ceremony. 

Physically this involved being together with an intentional ceremonial group over the course of many hours throughout the night and imbibing an entheogenic concoction of the DMT containing leaves of a very particular shrub and the MAO inhibitor containing roots of a very specific vine. 

Spiritually and psychologically it required an openness to the possibility that this so-called Grandmother Medicine- used over millennia by the indigenous peoples of South and Central America- might offer me some kind of healing communication from the world of plant intelligence.

The following day I was a profoundly changed human being!

The experience had been a surprisingly physical and pleasurable one. 

For hours on end my gut, heart and throat areas had undulated in gentle, rhythmical, sub-orgasmic pulsations causing me to chuckle and groan with a gleeful ecstasy. Visually I had been presented with kaleidoscopically morphing fractal imagery of cathedral columns ornate archways, gargoyles, rainforest branches and lush leafy undergrowth.

And whilst this rollercoaster intensity of sensations was buffeting me I was struck by how long-lived the plant-life has been on our planet, compared with the relatively newcomer mammalian life-form with it's less experienced, arrogant, language-based intelligence. I was in awe of this opportunity to commune in a non-linguistic way with an ancient intelligence. An intelligence which had accompanied me throughout my life but to which I had hitherto been blind and deaf.

Within a number of spiritual/ Faerie communities there is the oft repeated axiom:

'Separation is simply an illusion. In truth we are all one'

Well, as I was being battered, shaken-and pleasured even- by Grandmama, the awareness descended on me that for the vast majority of my life I had focussed on firstly learning but then (from my 20s onwards) fastidiously teaching what I'd learned. As a young medic the career mantra back in the 80s was: 'See one. Do one. Teach one’ . I subsequently became a practitioner and teacher of listening and counselling skills and then a junior doctor trainer and ultimately a senior doctor appraiser.

During the course of my profound and extreme Ayahuasca encounter, I witnessed myself attempting to register and remember what was happening so I'd be able to pass it all on....

And so what was the big message transmission from the world of plant-life? It was this:

"If you truly believe that 'We are all one' then you can set aside this teaching/preaching fetish you have cultivated over the years. 

The extent to which you have the impulse to transmit verbally what you have learned is the extent to which you doubt the reality that is:

THE INTERCONNECTIVITY OF ALL OF LIFE 

Know instead that knowing is enough. 

Stop all your thinking, talking and teaching. 

It's time for you to FEEL your feelings 

And for you to simply BE your joyful self. 

That should be enough!"

So at the tender age of 60 it’s probably high time for Gay Socrates to shut up and sign off- it’s been a total blast!

Radical Faerie Gatherings: The Cultivation of Queerness

Radical Faeries have been gathering together and creating transient pop-up queer community for more than 40 years-ever since the very first call to gather in early September 1979. 

These pre-Covid19 Gatherings (which until recently had become a regular global phenomenon) would often be held on the occasion of pagan earth-appreciating festivals as a way of tuning into natural seasonal rhythms. Some Faeries might say that the fundamental purpose of these gatherings was to enable an energy (which could be named as 'The Queer') to heal itself from the destructive attacks of those who felt threatened by it and who, for many and varied reasons, would wish to establish themselves as 'Non-Queer'

By creating community-encouraging-of-Queerness, Faeries have been able to develop their consciousness around power dynamics and the mechanisms of persecution, seeing their positioning and roles in the complex intersectionality of oppression as it manifests in the various -isms (sexism/misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism). And to also appreciate the potential world-healing value of this natural-Faerie-propensity to engage in this particular kind of work!

I've been attending gatherings for over 10 years now, and during this time I've been able to acknowledge the homophobic inflicted pain and suffering I've had to endure as a same-sex-loving Human Being. However I also see that this horribleness of experience is just a 'drop in the ocean' of what it might have been had I not been identifiable as a member of the most privileged classes (i.e. white, educated, middle class, cis-seeming-male, and able-bodied/ able-minded).

This realisation hasn't made my own pain and suffering any less and it hasn't meant I've been able to avoid a whole lot of work to understand its far reaching effects on my personality (particularly the extent to which I'm hampered in my ability to engage in intimacy with others).

But I'm now tuned into the way homophobia is just one facet of the many-faced invisible oppressive forces constantly directed towards women, towards the undereducated, towards the non-white, towards the colonised, towards the differently abled and towards my dear queer trans siblings.

It's interesting to see how, within our various Faerie communities, once the intention of creating a queer-nurturing environment and ethos is set, the forces which seem to oppose this intention begin to assemble. The microcosm begins to manifest elements of those oppressive forces from the macrocosm. Shock! Horror! A group of predominantly able-middle-class-cis-white-gay-men unintentionally/unthinkingly behave in ways which are uncomfortable for women, non-white, poor, disabled, trans etc. folk!

Thankfully Faerie Gatherings are becoming increasingly more inclusive and this has meant more work to do in understanding our relative privileges and the ways in which these might be contributing to the ongoing oppression of others, or alternatively, how they might be engaged with constructively to raise awareness and to work towards the redressing of unfairnesses and inequities.

My Qu-heroes

What is this process of Gay Iconic veneration? 

Looking back on the iconography of my earlier life, (Kenneth Williams, Quentin Crisp, Judy Garland, Barbara Streisand, Freddy Mercury, Will Young), I see how, with each figure, I managed to create an image-construct. Its value, for me, being that of knowing there was a story of a real person, like my own queer struggling self, who was capable of transcending adversity (or if not, was at least enduring its suffering in a truly fabulous way!) These Gay Icons gave me the courage to come out of my closet. They were individuals who dared to express their forbidden amazingness and desires shamelessly.

More recently however, I’ve had little spells of hero worship for gay men who are remembered for their role as visionaries, political activists and fighters for queer social justice. Here are my top 3…

Walt Whitman: 19th Century American poet who dared to openly publish poems about “the manly love of comrades” at a time when celebrating a reality which included sex would have him branded as an obscene writer throughout his lifetime. His poetry strongly influenced…

Edward Carpenter: Early 20th Century British writer and socialist poet who became a hero to the first generation of Labour politicians. At a time of Victorian homophobia (his contemporary Oscar Wilde was imprisoned for 2 years with hard labour for the crime of “gross indecency with sodomy”) he managed to live in an openly gay relationship and publish books allowing folk to discuss the possibility that sexual orientation was natural and biologically determined rather than being something to be morally condemned or criminalised. His books were read by…

Harry Hay: (1912-2002) American communist who was able to see the link between queer and black oppression and had the vision and courage to establish the first, pre-Stonewall gay rights movement called the Mattachine Society. Doing this meant risking his life, his job and his liberty. 

The Society became a victim of its own success, got a sudden influx of conservative members who saw Hay’s communism, at a time of McCarthy’s witch-hunt trials, as a liability, ousted him and established itself as an assimilationist lobby. 

Undaunted Hay then went on to argue for a different kind of liberation. For queers to ‘cast off the ugly frog-skin of hetero-conformity’ and for them to discover their queer purpose through the realisation of their true faerie nature in community at Faerie Gatherings.

I suppose I’ve been following Harry’s lead in this respect for the past 10 years or so. For me he’s not so much an Icon or Hero-to-worship. In fact the more I’ve learned about his egocentricity, intellectual bullying, and temper tantrums, the less I feel I would have liked him as a person!

He’s more of a flawed fore-father-figure…a guiding queer ancestor…a giant who stood on giant’s shoulders. 

His own shoulders now invite us all to step up and see the amazing view!

“Please Don’t be Creepy!”

“Please Don’t be Creepy!”

This request, together with a profile pic of an attractive young man, was all there was to the Grindr profile... 

It got me thinking about all the things that I might say or do to others that could creep them out. 

The #MeToo campaign has highlighted the shocking extent of unacknowledged sexual abuse in the form of implicit casting couch imperatives for career advancement in the entertainment industry. There is also, now, an ever growing recognition of the high prevalence of workplace based sexual harassment in general. 

Since sexual creepiness has been an integrally endemic background feature of my culture, the chances are, I’ve got some blind spots and it therefore behoves me to examine the extent to which creepiness has crept into me!

With this in mind I took the question “How might I be creepy?” to a week-long Faerie retreat. One of the glorious aspects of Faerie community is its queer diversity in terms of shapes, sizes, ages, genders, races, and sexualities. So I began to explore, privileged as I am, with elder, white, middle class, apparently-cis-male, predominantly homophilic status, how that capital might possibly be being unconsciously exploited in the pursuit of my erotic interests.

Faeries often tend to be seekers from a broad set of spiritual backgrounds. Newcomers to Faerie-space are particularly vulnerable, often, having rejected a rejecting and sex-negative Abrahamic belief system- possibly exploring for the first time a more earth-based and sex-positive framework.

So here’s what I came up with after a week of enquiry and meditation…

• The essence of creepiness is a mismatch between professed and actual intention. If I were to present myself as someone who is available to give help, advice, and guidance on how best to negotiate Faerie-space whilst secretly lusting after, and planning on the sexual conquest of a newfound ‘apostle’ then I’m being as creepy as a creepy fingered masseur who has offered the service of a massage but who is, instead, covertly taking sexual pleasure from the tactile sensation from his wandering hands!
• Emotional authenticity with full transparency of intention is key to establishing creepy-free relationships.
• When there exists some kind of power gradient across a relationship regarding e.g. youthfulness, attractiveness, maturity, experience, wealth, etc., I need to give voice to what is there, and explicitly acknowledge the real possibility that this differential of capital may be open to emotional or sexual exploitation.
• Super-creepiness happens when sexual overtures are made and continue to be made in the absence of a receptive audience. It becomes abusive if it continues after it has been made clear that the sexual attention is unwanted.
• Once intentions have been made clear, and the potential for abuse across power gradients has been explored then clarity of consent is paramount. “How would you like me to enter into intimacy with you? How would you like to enter into intimacy with me?” If these questions can be answered with clarity and if the answers can be honoured fully then we’re likely to have moved into a creepy-free zone!

Giver or Receiver: Top Bottom or Versatile?

So what’s your preferred position in the giving and receiving game?

There is a time honoured principle in Faerie Community that No-one is Turned Away For Lack Of Funds (NOTAFLOF). Those who have easier access to financial resources are invited to give more than the break-even cost of events and those who don’t are invited to give less cash or none at all. This challenges the community to grapple with the dynamics of giving and receiving money.

It has caused me, personally, to reflect on how it is possible for giving and receiving- not just in terms of cash but in all energetic aspects-to settle into a balanced equilibrium and allow for harmonious inter-personal relationships within community.

In Faerie-space I have often received great pleasure from giving but there have been times when my giving has caused me to feel depleted and has not necessarily felt welcomed. As a recovering people pleaser and approval seeker I have struggled to be comfortable in the receiving position. I could also feel guilt or resentment that my giving was out of balance with my receiving. 

So I developed my own Faerie Acronyms GOAA-BAGS and ROAN-BARS. I determined to Give Only As Able-But Always Give Something and to Receive Only As Needed-But Always Receive Something. An effort to balance my giving and receiving on the basis of my ability to give and of my need to receive.

This was all fine and dandy until I came across the ‘Wheel of Consent', a model of consensual giving and receiving developed by Betty Martin. Within this model the concepts of giving and receiving are each partitioned into two modes and set within a framework of consent. 

Consensual giving can be both active and passive. When it’s active it is offering an accepted SERVICE and when it’s passive it is ALLOWING an agreed action of taking.

Similarly consensual receiving is active when it involves TAKING something that someone has allowed and it is passive when it is ACCEPTING an agreed offered service.

So, penetratively speaking, I can give by either offering the SERVICE of a thorough fucking (active), or by ALLOWING someone to take pleasure from fucking me (passive). I can receive by TAKING pleasure from being allowed to fuck (active) or by ACCEPTING the offered fucking (passive).

From all of this I have learned that even gifts need to be accepted or taken consensually. I have also become more conscious of my preferred modes within this framework. I can understand now why I’m happy to fuck as a service and to allow a fucking to happen to me (active and passive giving) whereas the taking pleasure from fucking someone or the acceptance of a good servicing (without fretting about the comfort of the servicer) -active and passive receiving- are still areas of growth and exploration for me….

Tough work, I know, but somebody’s got to do it!

A Dream from the Margins of an Intersectionality

1

.... i'm present at a Faerie gathering.....
.... wandering around feeling like i don't belong....

.... some folk going off somewhere and i jokingly trying to find out what they're up to....

.... young Faerie quietly tells me that my questioning is 'overly-intrusive' and where they are going will be unknowable to me....

.... refers me back to a time when folk were meditating in a workshop and i was (unforgivably) using my mobile phone to call people....

.... i know that at the time i must have been 'in the spirit' of the workshop but can't exactly recall what she is referring to....

.... i know that what i'm being accused of is something i would not normally do....

.... i try to talk with her about it to help me remember what had actually happened....

.... she shuts me down and refuses to discuss it any further....

.... i'm preoccupied by the sense of being unjustly accused....

.... it's a familiar feeling and i adopt my usual position of welcoming this 'shadow' into my experience....

.... but there's a smouldering sense of wanting to become an outspoken 'shadow' in this gathering....

2

.... a familiar Faerie comes over to me, sits down and rests her legs across mine....

.... she recalls the time last night when i sucked her cock and she came in my mouth....

.... i joyfully remember the sweet taste of her semen as she spurted her ecstasy into my mouth....

.... (she had been wearing a Santa Claus hat with red flashing fairy-lights and in the darkness of the bushes we had been transported to a psychedelic red-light disco of sensation)....

.... but she was crest-fallen and told me that someone had approached her to say that they had witnessed it all and that ejaculation at gatherings was 'offensive' to them.... 

.... she wanted to check with me that there was indeed a rule that we had broken....

.... i told her that i hadn't been to a gathering for a while but this certainly wasn't a rule i was aware of....

.... again that smouldering sense of being called -or rather confronted- to take this on....

3

.... i 'm reminded of the rules at naturist gatherings where nudity is acceptable but there is the rule to carry a towel around to sit on-reminding us all of the need to protect the community from the dangers of bottom contamination!....

.... i say to her 'don't worry - it's probably something to do with some Faeries' phobia of bodily fluids'.... 

.... i'm overheard and suddenly realise i have become 'That Shadow Faerie' for daring to speak out this authentic speculation....

.... this means for some or many, i have now become 'Other'....

.... i, for them, am the enemy within our co-constructed utopian family....

.... i walk away from the gathering with that 'not-belonging-feeling' again....

.... walking past shops now.... there's a second-hand furniture shop and i leap and bounce off one of the chairs- i realise immediately i shouldn't have done it.....

.... the shopkeeper sees what i did and raises an eyebrow but doesn't remonstrate with me....

4

.... i find myself now in familiar surroundings- i used to live in this neighbourhood years ago....

.... i'm trying to walk up a hill but finding that, in spite of enormous effort, i'm hardly moving forward at all.....

.... there's someone behind me and i invite them to pass rather than try to keep ahead of them....

.... i look down at my feet and see that they are floating above the pavement....

.... i remember once again that i can fly but i'm now carrying books and a bunch of bananas and don't want to fly with these encumbrances....

.... so i slip them into the suitcase i'm wheeling behind me....

.... i'm now in a hotel corridor and aware that because of the suit case i must appear to be one of the guest here but i haven't paid for a room....

.... i take the case downstairs to the reception area....

.... wanting get away but having to continue to offload things into my suitcase....

.... the receptionist is confused by my behaviour but assumes i'm there to check out....

.... i'm still taking things out of my pockets and slipping them into the case....

.... i'm holding a wallet containing my valuables- it's in the form of a tiny handbag....

.... i decide to hold on to this and slip it into my inside pocket....

.... i try to recall where my laptop is and remember that it is safe back at the gathering....

5

.... but now the reception area is becoming crowded with scores of folk checking out....

.... i look for my suitcase but it is now lost in a sea of similar looking suitcases....

.... hotel porters are busy loading the luggage into the coaches waiting outside....

.... i approach them and ask if they have seen a large black suitcase

.... only to see that all the loaded suitcases are large and black but don't quite look like mine....

.... i'm desperate to convey that the case was in the reception area just two minutes ago....

.... surely it cant be that far away....

.... they point to a massive container-load of suitcases and say that if it was in the reception area it would now have been removed to this container ready for loading onto the coaches....

.... there's a part of me that isn't really bothered- I still have my valuables and laptop so what is there to worry about.....

.... but then they start to speculate about an employee who was recently fired from his job....

.... it wasn't clear what his job had been but there had been some sort of incident and a number of the hotel guests had complained about him....

.... 'it's probably him getting his revenge.... he'll have stolen it thinking you was one of the complainants'....

6

.... 'he's going to track you down- I'd be careful if I was you sir!'.....

Ten Commandments to live by for 2018

Taking stock after a very full and exerting year, much of which was spent in and around Faerie Gatherings, I’m starting to formulate some useful principles to live by for the rest of my life!

I am a little saddened that it has taken me the best part of sixty years to arrive at, what now seem to be, these fairly self evident truths. 

As queer mammalian creatures with our crazy-mixed-up vicariously motivated parents and teachers, and our fears and hungers and drives, we bounce ourselves into relationships, social circles, lifestyles, careers and patterns-of-being which often serve us less well than they might. 

Well, that’s what happened for me and it has taken a lifetime as an over-busy professional and 2 whole years of ‘doing-nothing’ post-retirement for the mists of conditioning and self deception to finally begin to clear.

So here are the personal 10 Commandments I will endeavour to live by, if not for the rest of my life, then at least for the next 12 months or so…..

1 Thou shalt become ever fiercer in thine honesty regarding personal integrity

This involves locating what I am feeling in my heart and being brave enough to bear witness to it regardless of how this revelation might be viewed by others as shameful, undesirable, unlikeable, unenlightened, - whatever!

2 Thou shalt stop apologising for whom thou art

3 Thou shalt stop seeking the approval of others

4 Thou shalt start to accept that being disliked for thine authenticity is the integral and undeniable flip-side of being liked for thine authenticity

5 Thou shalt stop using the words GOOD and BAD

These words are a root source for Duality and are Black Magick spells which establish the fault-lines of Divisiveness. I need to continue to recognise them as lazy signifiers of a privileged value system and always worth opening to scrutiny.

6 Thou shalt find a different way of saying “I hate it when…”

Hatred can so easily find its way into consciousness even via this ostensibly playful invocation.

7 Thou shalt avoid opinionated people

Keep remembering that they are desperately attempting to impose some order onto the gloriously, implacably, chaotic nature of life, the universe and everything. Attempting to challenge opinionatedness just cements it in place. Simply knowing what I know should be enough. Chaos will prevail.

8 Thou shalt stop being drawn to positions of ‘leadership’ 

They are a mirage. I am only able to lead myself. Just find some space and see what happens by being in it. And then endeavour to stop seeing what happens and simply ‘be’ in it.

9 Thou shalt keep identifying what brings thee joy and keep engaging with it on a regular basis

10 Thou shalt recognise when what thou art engaged with has become joyless and, no matter how worthy-seeming the project, thou must let it go. And let it go as quickly as possible!

Hate Crime in Brighton- Maybe we need to get out more?

I’m still recovering from a summer of Faerie Gatherings!

Faerie-space is where I’ve been able to allow my spiritual queerness to be fully present, affirmed and celebrated. Over the years I’ve really benefitted from the opportunity to be quiet in nature. Here I've revealed to others my most shameful aspects. And here I’ve found love and acceptance not in spite of my perceived shortcomings but because of them!

I decided therefore, to offer myself in service to this fabulous, anarchic gang of consciousness developers. So I put myself forward to facilitate three consecutive gatherings during July and August.

First of all was Faerie Sex Magick at Folleterre, the Euro-Faerie Sanctuary in France. Thirteen brave Faeries together with 3 facilitators and a cook came together for an week of intensive heart circles exploring our barriers to intimacy. Our objective: to reach a point where all of us could agree that we had developed a deep enough emotional understanding of each other to safely enter into an erotic space together. This was my sixth workshop and, as always, there was much to learn from this very unique form of emotional skinny dipping!

Exposed to an angry participant I was opened up to my extreme avoidance of unpredictable anger and violence. Though my father is dead and gone, the wounding he inflicted on me with his aggressive volatility, was still very much alive in me as a pattern of pretending I didn’t need anger as part of my emotional life. I realise now that depriving myself and others of this vibrant aspect of my self-expression gives an indistinct and unreal feel of ‘who I am’ making if difficult for others to fully engage emotionally with me. So now I’m tuning-in to, and expressing my anger as it arises. What a refreshing change!

My next two gatherings were the Global closely followed by the Afterglow Gathering.

The Global Gatherings are a controversial development for the Faeries in that rather than making a call to Sanctuary for established Faeries, there is an active intention to reach out to activists in those parts of the world where there is no Faerie culture, raising funds to assist with air travel and subsistence, and shifting the focus away from inner/interpersonal healing towards outer and inter-continental healing.

For whatever reason the LGBTI+ human rights position in UK is now very privileged compared with many countries across the globe.

And, sure, there’s hate crime in Brighton but it’s nothing compared with the hate cultures I’ve been hearing about from activists in Chechnya, Uganda, Pakistan, Benin, Singapore, and Beijing.

Prior to my encounter with the Faeries I was an assimilationist, desperate to prove to anyone that I was just quite ordinary apart from my sexuality. Now as a Faerie I know that I am quite extra-ordinary because of my sexuality.

I’m feeling my anger rising against queer hatred and I’m recognising it as a valuable element of my Faerie-Superpowers! 

Watch out hate-crime-bitches. We're coming for you!!

The Hope of a Not-Doing Faerie

A few years ago I began to wonder whether that little urge to ‘make a difference’, I’d  always been encouraged to cultivate and demonstrate in my life, wasn’t just part of a fast-breeder-mass-effect fuck up for the planet. What if I could just take a step back and let it all just be. And what if everyone else could just do the same? The amazing subversive Taoist principle of Not-Doing (Wu-Wei). The counter-intuitive behavior of responding to the demanding voice which says ‘Don’t just sit there DO SOMETHING’ by quietly replying ‘Don’t just do something- SIT THERE’

....And BREATHE. 

When I first started this practice it felt like I was taking my hands off the steering wheel, blindfolded whilst driving at full pelt down the M1. Now it feels more like gently being driven along in a Google car (but still with that nagging fear of imminently getting mangled beneath an undetected articulated lorry!)

If you want to do something radically different in 2017 I strongly recommend giving this practice a try- at least for a few hours here and there, just to see what it feels like.

As a very tiny element in a vast and elaborately complex system with little or no definite understanding of the Grand Master Plan I am starting to humbly recognize the dangers of believing that I know and understand more than I do. By practicing ‘Not Just Doing Something and Sitting There’ I find that the planet Earth not only continues to rotate on its axis but it also continues to revolve in its orbit around the sun! 

A favorite expression of my dear departed mother’s was  ‘Leave it in the hands of the Lord’ which was her Christian mantra for dealing with fears, anxieties and uncertainties. Maybe I’ve somehow inherited this outlook and, though I said goodbye to the Christian Male God story a long time ago, I am becoming increasingly trusting of some organizing principle which is much, much greater than my little flesh and blood self and which just might possibly know what it is actually doing!

How do I harness my personal power then, so it can act in harmony with this organizing principle? How do I purpose myself to be a fully effective participant in this amazing dance party we call Life? 

Without hurting anyone, I try to simply tune into being who I am without guilt or shame; to dispel ideas of who I should be or what I should do. I also contribute towards attempts to hold safe space where folk can feel free to try out being who they are too- without guilt or shame. 

And what seems to happen next is the experience of Joy and Love. I begin to feel joyful. And I sense the joy of others. And I feel Love.  (Cue for song: Donna Summers “I feel Love”)

My hope then, for 2017 and beyond, is for more of all this please!

Who Are We?

We are DIVINE.....

We are blossoming creativity

Manifesting glamorous beauties!

We feel the love

And it moves through us.

We dare to let inspiration be our guide.

Shamelessly we engage our power.

With guilt-free pleasure and balance

We ground ourselves securely

As our evolving consciousness

Changes Everything Forever!

We are Sacred Fools

And our buffoonery brings deep understanding!

We sing. We dance. We write. We paint.

We heal. We love. We drum.

We are the Divine Faerie Fools of Featherstone.

Bing!

Bang!

Bong!

How I Feed my Faerie!

As a Faerie I am a Nature Lover.

I love my own nature. I love the satisfaction it takes from indulging its basic lusts, hungers and thirsts. And I love the joy it feels from being engaged in a higher purpose. 

The challenge, I find, in a skewed world which overvalues the material and undervalues the ethereal, is to maintain a sense of balance. How, in presence, do I dance on the tightrope between divinity and mundanity in my moment to moment existence?

How do I feed my Faerie?

Here are a handful of activities I’ll be engaged with this month-you might want to join me?

1 Naked Yoga

If you are a male bodied Faerie and you like to get your kit off you might like to try a naked yoga session with Nickles (Sunday 8th February 4pm, Holistic Health Clinic, Preston Circus)- www.altogetheryoga.com

Yoga is a great way to bring to attention the importance of balancing and binding together your physical self with those aspects of you that are not physical. The state of nakedness creates a surprisingly loving, accepting and non-competitive atmosphere.

2 Faerie Gathering

By the time you are reading this you will have probably just missed the Glastonbury Imbolc Weekend (30 January-3 February) but it’s not too late to book for the March Featherstone Gathering (20-30 March) see 

https://albionfaeries.wordpress.com/gatherings-2015/

‘Leave behind the mundane and the conventional.... Ignite your passions, delight your senses, take risks, learn and teach.... commune with nature, embrace whimsy, transform yourself, delve deep into the profound, dissolve in laughter…
In a magical castle in Northumberland we will share and listen at heart circles, cook and eat delicious meals together, dress up, dress down, frolic in the love temple, snuggle by the fire, drum, sing, dance and make merry.’

Have an adventure in self development and discovery. If you want to jiggle things up a bit and blow away the cob-webs I’d strongly recommend it!

3 Dance

There’s a great 5 Rhythms dance class held at St Nicholas’ Church (BN13LT) every Wednesday evening 8-10pm see www.meetup.com/5rhythms-love-thy-everyone/

5 Rhythms isn’t about learning dance moves- it’s about learning to spontaneously move in a self compassionate way in space and time to music. There’s no-one there to tell you how to do it. You just turn up and start moving to the music- however you like. And it will be right! There is no judgement! It’s an exercise in freeing your body and spirit from constraints, restrictions, guilt and shame. The crowd there are people of all shapes, sizes, ages, genders and sexualities.

At the time of writing there are plans to bring an LGBT class to Brighton (Dance out Loud) but as yet there’s no definite date or venue. Watch this space for news: www.meetup.com/The-5-Rhythms-LGBT-Brighton-Group/

I’m looking forward to seeing you this month naked at yoga, frolicking at Featherstone or 5Rhythms-ing on the dance floor!

When and how did you identify as a Faerie?

The Faerie known as Presence is writing a thesis on Radical Faeries.

These are the questions asked of us and my answers:

When and how did you identify as a Radical Faerie?

My first Faerie gathering was at Featherstone Castle just 5 years ago. I’d been encouraged to go by a friend I’d made on an Edward Carpenter Community Gay Men’s week. The ECC week had been facilitated by an American Faerie-Sunfire and two Albion Faeries-Shokti Lovestar and Notre Dame des Arbres. The theme of the week was ‘The Dance between Power and Intimacy’. There were workshops on Tantric Sex (based on the Body Electric school), BDSM, cross dressing, heart circles, saunas. In the space of a week I learned to risk vulnerability for the prize of intimacy. My new friend said ‘if you like all of this you’ll love the Faeries’. He was right. For me, as a lifelong secretly self identified freak, Featherstone Castle was a magical home-coming to my very own tribe of misfits and marginals. The love of all things natural, the embrace of chaos, the acceptance of all shapes and sizes, the seam of deep spirituality yet the absence of proselytizing and hierarchy made for a very welcoming an nurturing space. It was my first taste of Faerie Sanctuary where I could begin the process of establishing my divinely intended purpose. Since then I’ve not only been back to Featherstone every year but also to the Folleterre Sanctuary in Eastern France (Rewilding Skillshare 2010, Quiet Gathering 2011, Summer Gathering 2012, Sex Magick 2013, Community Week 2014) I also went to a gathering in Berlin 2010. 

I have always been profoundly affected by each and every gathering I’ve attended, learning about my gender, my sexuality, my undernourished appetites, my woundings, my capacity to self-heal and the previously unseen obstacles to self-love, the love of others and ultimately the love of the universe. 

Describe briefly what the Radical Faeries mean to you.

To me the Radical Faeries are a deeply rooted international network of divinely inspired beings. As a human development its natural intrinsic intent is to nurture the sacred within. The Faeries are  able to do this by generating magical faerie-space, encouraging physical, emotional and spiritual authenticity in those who encounter it directly. Once manifested this authenticity changes the world irrevocably!

What do you understand by the terms ‘Gay’ and ‘Queer’? Which do you identify with, if at all, and why?

Back in 2009 I was a successfully assimilated ‘out ‘Gay Man. I was a homeowner in a longterm monogamous same-sex partnership with 2.4 cats! It seemed that, for my generation of assimilationists. the prize we had won for the LGBT community was a range of human rights- rights to civil partnership, rights to be able to foster and adopt, rights to an equal age of consent, rights even to join the army if I’d wanted to. I felt my whole life had been an exercise in demonstrating to the wider society that as a community we deserved these rights. I was no different from them other than simply having a desire for a same-sex lover. 

But this wasn’t true. Once I was fully shoehorned into my assimilated box I was suffocating. I felt ungrateful. I’d lost the power of my outsider status. I had no sense of joy from my begrudgingly accepted life-style. The Church continued to disapprove of my nature which had caused me to throw out my spiritual identity baby with the corrupt bathwater of organized religion.

However in the journey from that very first ECC gay mens week with its permission to find a source of spiritual growth in the full cultivation of my sexuality, the meeting with the Faeries with their invitation to discover the divine purpose of my bi-gendered nature and to reject assimilation, and the continued intimate exposure in heart-circle space to the divine feminine (in myself and others) I have traveled away from Gay Man and I am now arrived at Queer Spirit.

What do you think about the rituals in the Radical Faerie community? How do they affect you personally?

1 In my experience, the most profound and transformative ritual in the Radical Faerie Community is the ritual of the Heart Circle. Revealing my heart-felt self to non-judgmental, lovingly accepting Faeries has been both challenging and rewarding. Bearing witness to the revelation of heart-felt truths in a non-judgmental and lovingly accepting way has revealed some surprising shared experiences and also enabled the cultivation of that gift of experiencing the vicarious feel of another Faerie’s moccasins as they go on their own journey. The most potent experience I have had of the powerfully transformative and healing influence of the Heart Circle Ritual was the Folleterre 2013 Sex Magick workshop. 7 days of continuous heart circling with a closed group of Faeries with the intention to create sacred ritual space for the authentic expression of loving touch. I was so impressed by its impact both on myself and others that I’m planning to attend another in October.

2 I also see the ‘Know (or No) Talent Show’ as a wonderful exercise in almost unacknowledged Ritual Space capable of promoting profound personal transformation for those in both ‘performer’ and ‘witness’ roles. As a performer I offer my creative self in total vulnerability. In the role of witness I am able to appreciate, as a practice in unconditional love, the channeled beauty of creation. I’m amazed at the growth I feel from the acknowledgement of my offering. I am enchanted and delighted by the offering of others.

3 The Faerie Gathering itself is an extended ritual space with its opening ritual invoking the magical healing energies which will nurture the cultivation of our authentic selves. And also its closing rituals helping us to acknowledge the power of the transformative energies we have manifested but also their potential limitations to influence beyond the immediate environment of Faerie Space. 

Do you think the Radical Faeries have their own myths? If so, could you provide some examples? If not, why do you think that’s the case? 

At gatherings I have heard stories about Lillith, the Vestal Virgins, Loki. Faerie names sometimes invoke mythical figures. Pan, Fauny, Baccus, Sometimes the story of a Faerie’s name is of mythical proportions.

We have stories about our ancestors.....

Harry Hay as a child persuaded the librarian that she ought to get a fashionable Marcel wave in her hair. He assured her that he would look after the library whilst she was at the hairdresser’s. She returned two hours later to find him engrossed in Edward Carpenter’s ‘The Intermediate Sex: A study of some transitional types of men a and women’. He’d found the key to the locked cabinet of forbidden books. The rest is history.

The Faeries are a relatively new development in the growth of humanity. I believe that by living our authentic selves we are inevitably creating the myths of the future. There will be stories told by our great grandchildren about the impact that the Thesis of Presence had on the world!

Do you see the Radical Faeries fulfilling a role in the greater human community? 

Yes

If so, what do you think it is? 

The unfurling and fluttering of a single Faerie’s wings in Faerie Space is enough to create a revolutionary wind of change for the planet!