Five Steps to Take when Managing your Reactions to Bitchiness in Faerie-Space

So you just found out that some SHADOW-Faerie said something negative about you....?

STEP 1

Check in with yourself. Is the criticism deserved? Is there anything to learn? Has someone called you a lazy selfish bitch and recently you’ve been doing nothing for your community and just looking out for yourself? Be grateful for the kick up the panties!

STEP 2 

Wonder about the one who passed on the information to you. What does it say about this faerie? Does it serve some purpose for her to be a broker of negativity. What kind of SHADOW-Faerie is this strange creature?

I once had a work colleague who spent her life in the shadow of an incompetent, uncaring older brother. She gave her life to her mother who determinedly persisted in preferring the brother to herself. She took great pleasure (and caused no end of disharmony) from her habit of witnessing individuals’ pain when she was able to spin a story to them that someone else on the team, because of their status/gender was getting a whole load of credit, reward and preferential treatment for all their hard work!

Are you 100% certain that what has been conveyed is 100% accurate and has been described completely in context?

STEP 3 
You may not have been actually 'told' anything. Maybe you have a good sense that a SHADOW-Faerie just doesn’t like you from glances, reactions and body language. 

Ask yourself “Is it really true?”

Are you projecting your memories of a past relationship onto this Faerie?

What, in this past relationship, was so challenging? Did these challenges invite you to make uncomfortable changes to your assumptions and outlook? Did you recoil from this invitation at the time? Are you ready to explore this discomfort now? Is this SHADOW-Faerie offering you another opportunity to grow and develop away from unskillful ways of being? 

Share what you are going through from the heart in spite of the vulnerability you fear!

STEP 4 

None of the above? So a SHADOW Faerie has had the audacity to call herself a Faerie. To cast malicious shadows about you! To abuse you and persecute you and speak all kinds of calumny against you!

You have been defamed, maligned, slandered. Your name has been blackened. Your reputation has been sullied. You have been vilified, denigrated, disparaged, discredited!  Your reputation has been ruined!

You have a strong emotional reaction to this.... Ask yourself why?

Is your light so dim? Is your sense of oneness with the Divinity of Nature so compromised that a mere mortal shadow dancer can extinguish your Fire? Remember you are pure radiant light. Only the lack of confidence in this truth will cast you into the dark and the cold!

Are you angry that your capacity to remain joyful from moment to moment in Faerie community is so limited that a single incident like this can cause such a meltdown?

STEP 5 

Connect with the divine. Feel the warmth, the strength, the comfort. Is the SHADOW-Faerie projecting shadows from her own past relationships in your direction? Is she unable to recognize what is going on? Is it still too painful for her to forgive and release the discomfort? Know that you are offering her an opportunity to revisit these wounds. Be open to heart centered overtures to explore, understand and heal. If there are no approaches from her then simply stand confidently and compassionately in your power. You are truly beautiful and loving!

Of course it is quite a challenge to go through this whole process. 

The alternative is to say “JUST FUCK IT” and then F-I-I-I-IGHT!

NOTE: The idea of the SHADOW-Faerie is simply that. An IDEA, a MYTH, an ILLUSION. Whatever you do please don’t fall into the trap of believing that Faerie community is made up of SHADOW-Faeries and NON-SHADOW-Faeries. The worst thing you can do is to check out with a fellow Fae if they think so-and-so is a SHADOW-Faerie. It’s the start of a process of divisiveness, dualism, us-and-them-ness, of binary thinking. Thereon lies the path to civil war!

If you think you have discovered a SHADOW-Faerie embrace her and then gently work on finding some source of illumination: if it feels uncomfortable accept it, change it or move away from it. 

You will shine all the more brilliantly for this great work you have done for your Faerie community and you will act as a beacon of brilliance for the world to follow! 

Good Luck!