10 Steps Towards Emotional Intimacy: The Faerie Heart Circle Ritual

1 Find at least one other person you feel able to confide in and who would be able to confide in you. (If you don’t know anyone you need to find a new set of friends- or start up a Meet-up Group!)

2 Find a special object- call it a Talisman- to hold and pass around the circle.

3 Designate a date and time and set aside at least 2 hours free of disturbance.

4 Turn all your devices off and prepare to communicate the truth of what is going on for you right now. In the Flesh. No edits. The raw, honest authentic truth! 

5 Pick up the talisman and say ‘In this Heart Circle I will have the opportunity to share but only when I hold the Talisman. Do you agree to do this too?’

6 Wait for all present to say- Yes I agree! (if they don’t, then send them home and find another group!)

7 Light a candle and pass the Talisman and this text to the left. The next person says ‘At the beginning of my sharing I will say my name and it will be repeated back by the circle as an affirmation of mutual support. Do you agree to do this too?’

8 This person lights a candle then passes the Talisman and this text to the left and so on.

9 These statements are said, asking for agreement, by other participants or if there are just 2 or three of you they are shared between you:

• I will speak from the heart about what is alive and true for me right now.

• I will own my statements by using ‘I’ and ‘my’ rather than ‘you’ or ‘we’. 

• I promise to listen with empathy and to have a compassionate awareness of any judgement as it arises within me. 

• During the circle, I may hear something that resonates with me. I will not directly comment on, or offer any advice to others. However it may affect my subsequent sharing.

• I may say nothing when the talisman comes to me but I will allow myself time to be present with my feelings before passing it on. 

• I will allow others personal space to be fully with their own experience- in tears or laughter. Comfort or hugs may be non-verbally offered and accepted when the sharing has finished. 

• I will look after my emotional and physical needs and if I have to leave the room I will do so at the end of a share.  

• If I would like to talk about something said in the circle with that person afterwards, I may ask  but I accept that the answer could be no. 

• I promise to keep everything in this heart circle CONFIDENTIAL. 

10 Now take the talisman and share from the heart for as long as it takes then pass it on. When all has been said hold hands. Take 3 deep breaths then blow the candles out. Enjoy!