4 A Steamy Sunday in Rainy Madrid

Ok-I'm tucked up in bed-It's 2.30 in the afternoon and I'm just recovering from a mammoth almighty sleep. Gone are the days when I might have squeezed the last dregs out of a holiday weekend by going out on a Sunday night. So instead I treated myself to a night in with Spanish TV with Spanish subtitles courtesy of teletext page 888!! A vain attempt at improving my Spanish but at least I got the chance to catch a few phrases and expressions. So it was 'Cat Woman' and '8MM' -en Espana until 1 am and then lights out and off to sleep for a solid 12 hours-Lovely! Well, I think I had over-exerted myself somewhat. After all the exertions of Saturday morning I awoke at 9 am after just 5 hours and decided that I was going to have a lazy Sunday. Spent the morning reading and writing. Then had the bright idea of taking myself off to a sauna. How easy is it for me to sly off to a sauna when I'm at home? So checked out the local guide to see which might be the biggest, brightest, cleanest-difficult because they sort of claim that they all are in their ads. Plumped for Sauna Center along Gran Via 'one of the biggest male saunas in Europe'. What it doesn't say is that it's old, moldy, and a bit dingy which I discovered 16 Euros later [£12-80 with the current poor exchange rate!]. Never mind , I was here at least ostensibly to have a thorough sauna and steam experience which, if you do it properly, can leave you feeling naturally high and exhilarated. So even though the showers were mainly cold-apart from one highly sought-after one-and one was broken: you get the picture, the steam room was extremely large and steamy and the sauna was extremely hot and dry. So I proceeded to get on with the business of getting myself so hot I could hardly bear it and then throwing myself under icy showers-accepting that this would do nothing for my sauna credibility as the process resulted in the shrinking of my already compromised assets! But hey-ho, I was there for a sauna -so there!

However, I was increasingly struck, as the afternoon wore on, that even though there was an ever changing number of faces and bodies in the shower room, no one seemed to be using the sauna or steam rooms. I nonchalantly wandered around a bit to find out where everyone was going but no-all I could find was room after room of changing room cubicles, a toilet area,shower area and bar. Ah well, I thought, I'm here for a sauna so off I went until I was dazed and spaced out with it all -flopped into a sofa in the bar really appreciating the laid back space, relaxed music and faded retro atmosphere and then I fell asleep for a bit. 

When I awoke I was still troubled because I couldn't figure out how just a few rooms could be described as 'one of the largest saunas in Europe'. Needed to do more of an assertive explore, I thought! Then, on this circuit, I realized I'd managed to overlook a massive stairway right by the entrance which led down to one of the most spacious sets of dark rooms, cubicles, porn cinemas and wet areas I've ever come across. Hmm! Well, I'd done my sauna-ing, now was the time for a little R and R. Trouble with very large places, they can feel a little forlorn even when there are quite a few people around. I decided that I couldn't be fussed with all the thrill of the chase and opted for a completely anonymous dark room orgasm. Lay down, started myself off, and in no time at all I was being slowly and surely helped to one of the most leisurely orgasms I've had in years-Lovely! That felt like a no-blame encounter if ever there was one. I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere?

Oh-I was going to talk about how you are beheld! Ok -maybe do that next time.