Whoever you are holding me now in hand
Without one thing all will be useless,
I give you fair warning, before you attempt me further,
I am not what you supposed, but far different.
-
Who is he that would become my follower?
Who would sign himself a candidate for my affections? Are you he?
-
The way is suspicious -- the result slow, uncertain, may-be destructive;
You would have to give up all else -- I alone would expect to be your God, sole and exclusive,
Your novitiate would even then be long and exhausting,
The whole past theory of your life, and all conformity to the lives around you, would have to be abandoned;
Therefore release me now, before troubling yourself any further -- Let go your hand from my shoulders,
Put me down, and depart on your way.
-
Or else, only by stealth, in some wood, for trial,
Or back of a rock, in open air,
(for in any roofed room of a house I emerge not -- nor in company,
And in the libraries I lie as one dumb, a gawk, or unborn, or dead,)
But just possibly with you on a high hill -- first watching lest any person, for miles around, approach unawares,
Or possibly with you sailing at sea, or on the beach of the sea, or some quiet island,
Here to put your lips upon mine I permit you,
With the comrade's long-dwelling kiss, or the new husband's kiss,
For I am the new husband, and I am the comrade.
-
Or, if you will, thrusting me beneath your clothing,
Where I may feel the throbs of your heart, or rest upon your hip,
Carry me when you go forth over land and sea;
For thus, merely touching you, is enough -- is best
And thus, touching you, would I silently sleep and be carried eternally.
-
But these leaves conning, you con at peril,
For these leaves, and me, you will not understand,
They will elude you at first, and still more afterward -- I will certainly elude you,
Even while you should think you had unquestionably caught me, behold!
Already you see I have escaped from you.
-
For it is not for what I have put into it that I have written this book,
Nor is it by reading it you will acquire it,
Nor do those know me best who admire me, and vauntingly praise me,
Nor will the candidates for my love, (unless at most a very few,) prove victorious,
Nor will my poems do good only -- they will do just as much evil, perhaps more,
For all is useless without that which you may guess at many times and not hit -- that which I hinted at,
Therefore release me and depart on your way.
Walt Whitman
From the Calamus Poems
1860
You can read the full cycle of 45 short poems at http://gaymensvirtualbookgroup.blogspot.com
