A few years ago I was quite partial to a bit of reality TV. The early series of Big Brother were a great opportunity for us all to be educated in the complexities of Social Psychology. Getting some insights into how, in a social context, we influence and are influenced by others is no bad thing I thought.
However as the years have rolled by and the jaded palate of the viewing public has demanded increasingly grotesque and sadistic formats I have started to feel both defiled and guilty for watching, (and thereby perpetuating) these programmes. It is the same mixture of emotions I felt when Princess Diana died. My appetite for gossip and images about her relationship with Dodi Fayed had condoned and contributed in part to the frenzy of paparazzi who ultimately hounded her to her death.
And so last year I decided to withdraw myself from the hoards of reality TV junkies and to stop living my life through the televised experiences of vulnerable, narcissistically driven wannabe celebrity egos prepared to endure endless humiliation and discomfort for the prize of our attention. Instead I resolved to start living my life in reality!
My first step was to move outside of my comfort zone and sign up for an Edward Carpenter Community retreat (www.edwardcarpentercommunity.org.uk). Out in the wilds of the Dumfries countryside there is the chance to openly explore who you are in the company of complete strangers sympathetic and supportive of who and where you are, who you want to become and where you want to go.
My second step was to attend a faerie gathering (www.albionfaeries.co.uk/faerieevents.htm) at Featherstone Castle in Northumberland. Faeries create a queer magical space where you can be playful with your identity and experiment with ways of being truly yourself. Both retreats involved the co-creation of community outside of straight society meaning that conventional rules can be bent warped or broken for the sake of personal and spiritual development. Individual growth and creativity is celebrated. There is no danger here of being nominated for eviction by your housemates!
At the end of each week everyone is encouraged to perform for the community. The Faeries call their cabaret ‘The No Talent Show’ which is a measure of the standard expected of participants. There is no Simon Cowel here to savage those brave enough to bare their souls. All performances are valued because they are ours and have become part of the fabric of who we are.
Two life-changing weeks of my life away from TV. As a consequence I have become a more grounded human being. I have also become part of a living network of people seeking authenticity from life and from each other.
Why not try it? It might even cure you of your realty TV addiction too!
You can write to me at GaySocrates@gmail.com and I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can.
